In this shortlisted essay from the ESRC Better Lives Writing Competition, in which PhD students who have received money from the ESRC write short essays about how their research leads too better lives, new mother Rosa Daiger von Gleichen describes the exertions required to both work and be a parent. The PhD candidate in social policy at the University of Oxford studies employer-based and public family policies, primarily in the United Kingdom, the United States and Germany, to understand how employers, families and individuals will manage both work and care in the future.